Sure, I don't really have an audience, but who the crap cares. There's a lot of posts left in the pipeline that I'll upload in a few, along with a much needed theme change so that I actually get indexed by Google. But for a quick update:

• Went back to the US after my 2009 trip
• Finished my job at XC, but was kept on contract for periodic work
• Travelled back to Ghana in February 2010
• Began work at BusyLab on the Esoko application
• Have been here for about 3 months now

Oh, and there are soooo many stories to tell. Gotta start filling this blog in!

• Honestly, it would be nice to work with Europeans and such because at least I'll be around English. I think I can learn Twi, but perhaps from better and clearer and much much slower speakers.
• Most of all, though, I need to get a break. A peace of mind. And some pineapple juice...  So far, I am experiencing Ghana from the minds and eyes of Hayford, one of my best friends. But, I think I need to make more drastic decisions and another more aggressive push towards accomplishing my goals here.
• Back to another day burning up in this heat.
• To add insult to injury, Hayford he walks up a storm in blasting hot sun and heat with little regard to the heavy ass backpack that I am carrying. Typical American I am... carrying a heavy ass backpack. So while I am burning, he is just fine.
• I don't know what I'll do today or where I'll go.

Day 2 [Part 1]:

• Today's the big day! The interview and then off to get my travels on and stuff.
• Last night I pulled an all-nighter and found out what people do all night long at Sexy Late Night at the Ghanaian Internet Cafe: porn, chatting posing as beautiful women to lure stupid white men into trap, and more porn.
• More interesting was the fact that this deception was run like a business. Almost like if a pimp was in charge getting these kids to do this... or more like a drug pusher.
• Essentially, there were like five boys in the cafe who would find sexy pictures of a girl online and pretend to be that girl while chatting to some guy. They would send pictures back and forth. The concept is somewhat engenius, although not original at all. But, hey, if you REALLY believe that a sexy busty white girl in her twenties is hanging out in Ghana and wants you to come visit her. Then, well, you deserve to lose your money. But (hopefully) not your life.
• After my somewhat all-nighter was somewhat successful. I managed to pump a lot of stuff back into my brain. But I still got a ways to go.
• I probably won't even be quized in Perl and Python. But, I need to make sure I have it in my head anyways. After all this Drupal programming, all I can do is: array() array_merge() drupal_set_message() blah() blah() blah()
• Anyways, I am so hungry. I need some protien. Am tired of rice, carbs, carbs, and more carbs. Geez!

Day 2 [Part 2]:

• One hour before my scheduled interview and I am trying to meet the big boss man in charge. Well, meet face to face. This should be interesting.
• Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Haha. It feels like hours.
• This chic that walked by is so HOT. I wonder if she's taken. You know I like my beautiful professional black girls. I mean, I bet she's also smart and interesting.
• Oh well. Time goes by. And goes by. Tickity tock. Tickity tock.
• Haha. Just when I decide to listen to some music, he walks out. No stress. It is or it isn't. You know you're qualified. It's just a matter of doing the interview.
• Yeah. There are all sorts of people at this Esoko office. White people, pretty girls, serious looking guys, who knows... It's a hodgepodge (I actually spelled that word!!!) so I guess it makes it all more interesting.

Day 3:

• I got the job. So, thank God. Haha. Apparently, it doesn't pay much... But I don't care.
• I feel like I am supposed to be here, so I'll leave the rest up to God.
• So a few days ago Hayford and I go running. I get something stuck in my eye and he literally tries to blow it out.
• Haha. That's what friends are for.
• Washed my clothes today. By hand. Hotness.
• Ate some Obama Biscuits. Disgusting.  Eh.
• Getting ready to hit the road!

Day 4:

• OK. It's 3:30am. Trying to catch a tro tro or taxi to STC to catch a bus to Takrodi.
• Not only is it raining. But it is dark and this sketchy guy is pretending to be fixng his car.
• And then sparks flying from a poorly maintained electrical wire.

• You never ask a Ghanaian for directions... Haha! You will get lost.
• Nothing is given in rights and lefts and, if you do get rights and lefts, you will likely get lost as a Ghanaian left or right must be significant for it to be mentioned.
• Consider the following equally permissible directions:
  • From an American: When you leave the compound, turn left and immediately left again moving on the far side of the compound. Follow the road straight until you reach the end. At that point turn left and make an immediate right for two more roads. Then, finally, make a left and you will arrive.
  • From a Ghanaian: Leave the house. Go straight and straight. Turn left by the pineapple selling woman and alight at the place.

Day 2:

• Taking a bucket shower in a stinking cement construct, sleeping with mosquitos, and pissing into a hole in the ground that leaks into the pathway I walk on each day.
• And a minute ago, a giant beetle roach big whatever crawls over my foot... No problem, I am getting used to everything.
• This is the life...

Day 3:

• With the lights (power) are off here, I have provided myself as a living sacrifice for these mosquitos to feast upon.
• Our solution, temporarily submit ourselves to them by crossing over to their territory while we wait for the mosquito spray to work... then impatiently enter the gas chamber to suffocate. For we would rather breath in the cancerous fumes than sustain more heavy artillery fire from the mosquito clan.
• Unfortunately for me, I am a fat American, perfect for the mosquito-likings. Unlike my skinny skinny friend who has not been bothered at all. I am sure the mosquitoes realize this and can taste the hamburger I ate three days ago in my blood.
• The good news is that this should put my 4 year old anti-malaria pills to the test. I got them from a girl the last time I was here. By now, the medicine should have a pretty high tolerance to the malaria parasite.
• After all, we spray to deter the mosquito by giving ourselves cancer; thereby, revealing their fate as well as ours.

Day 4:

• Apparently the mosquito deterrence spray has managed to also scare away the noisy Christians and Muslims broadcasting their services by loud speaker at 12'am
• But there is still no electricity. This is annoying.

Day 5:

• Another morning... A lazy Saturday. Nighttime doesn't relax me really.
• I wonder whether these women here have massive breasts from genetics or better food. Or pershaps they stiff the hell out of their shirts to sell whatever they are selling.
• Whatever the case many girls here do have more fuller breasts. Not that I am looking...
• Tomorrow it all begins again...

Day 6:

• And it all begins again..
• This has to be the last time I wear a long sleeve shirt somewhere without guaranteed air conditining.
• It's freaking hot. No fan. No air conditioning. Nothing. This sometimes just plain pitiful.
• Haha. I complain a lot. And it's Sunday.
• Today is about church, moving all stuff to Legon, and visiting friends.

Day 7:

• So... Accra Mall is bigger, better, and a completely separated from the vast majority of Ghana.
• Here, I can watch a movie on the big screen, surf wireless, and order hella expensive food. All the while, paying every bit of my money's worth. Or, my Ghana Cedis worth... in USD, this is CHEAP...
• Oh and there is a Nike store, Puma store, and Apple store... Haha! Ghana has come faaaaaar!!!
• I am here waiting for a "beef burger" ...as if there were a such thing as a "non-beef burger"
• Let's see what it tastes like for 6 cedis. Then again, with the current exchane rate is is pretty much the same cost as a Whopper in the US. Except it's cooked by a black chef who looks like he's served the Queen before.
• OK. Sham Wow!!! Jambirgress es delicioso. Sure. I wish they had JUICE. But Mikkey D's doesn't have real juice either.
• So it's been good. On to my next expenditure.
• Or not. Since I'm not really into buying non-food related stuff.

11AM:
The guy I sat next to on the flight to Amsterdam was so frigging annoying! Oh my goodness! The guy sitting next to me right now on my trip to Ghana is no better. He's watching 101 dalmations... Hahahahaha!!!

11:15AM
Am starting to wonder if I can really live in Ghana given that people will annoy me soooo much. Not everybody, but many many African men will.

• Didn't have a visa to Ghana
• Had to get a visa in the same day I was flying out
• Had to alternate between New York and Newark all day to get a visa, check the status of my visa application, and get my luggage from the hotel to the airport
• Had to deal with the slow shuttle service at the hotel
• Had to try to (finally successfully) store my luggage at the airport (which was first impossible, right)

And after all that work... I finally missed my flight!

So, normally, I would just give up... yeah right! Having gone through enough emotions over the last few days, I didn't have any inch of pride in my system. I dropped on my knees right in the airport at the counter and started to cry. Literally. Not balling-out, mother-crying-for-her-dead-son type of crying. But, honest-what-the-#$%*-is-going-on type of crying. Like, I-did-all-I-could-#$%*#(#-do type of crying.

And here begins the story of three female employees at Newark:

• The old white lady: First didn't want me to be able to check in my baggage. Didn't want to help me. Didn't want to get off her old butt and walk around and do some thing. And kept looking over all the other employees as if she wanted to STOP them from helping me. I HATE, I friggen HATE people like that. Nosey, stupid, annoying employees who want to destroy the lives of specific people so much that they go out of their way to PREVENT other employees from helping out a customer. Total bitch.
• The middle aged black woman: Tried all she could to help me out. She tried looking up other flights, tried calling the company (KLM) and the other company (Northwest) and even the travel company (Vayama) but had no success. Still, she wanted to help me and said that she would try if I had any problems the day of. She just couldn't help me. Total angel.
• The young latina: Was interrupted by a door-man, the curb-side checkin person. The random black guy who saw me crying. The guy who got me on the plane. The guy who said I probably had no options... BUT, he decided to check to see if something would work. He went, to the black lady first (of course). She went, to the latina lifesaver. Now, this latina didn't just check to see if I could get on a flight... she PUT ME ON THE FLIGHT. She kept the details away from the total bitch white lady who kept prying her old eyes over the latina's keyboard and screen... because she (obviously) could remember (from a few hours earlier) that I had been worried about possibly missing my flight since I had to get my visa from NYC. Anyways, the latina got me a detour through Detriot. Total lifesaver.

Now, by no means am I being racist here. It's just how the people happened to be. I think it has more to do with appearance.

If it was a young blonde chic crying in the airport talking about missing a flight to her happy sappy hometown to see her boyfriend soon to be husband, maybe the old hag would have moved a muscle. Or not. Or maybe she prefers talk, dark, and handsome Egyptian princes. Maybe her bisexual husband cheated on her with a 24 year old black guy going to Ghana. Why knows?

Whatever the case... she didn't feel like helping me out. And that was that. It just so happened that the black woman more or less saw me as a son and the latina saw me as a guy who needed help. Case closed.

So, yeah. I was able to get a detour through Detriot from a random black guy at curb-side check-in who got a latina lady at the desk to help me. Now, I could get to Ghana. But I would miss my planned funtime in Amsterdam. Oh well...

One last thing. I did happen to get searched at the airport. Not normal, but like enhanced terrorist searched. It shows our government at work, I guess. I thought it was because I was going to Ghana. But, I don't know. For whatever reason, my ticket was flagged. The lady told me it was because I had changed my ticket last minute. But, who knows?

Anyways, it's off to Ghana I go...

It was Rochester. It was the last week of August 2003. I was young. I had just moved from Kalamazoo, Michigan to Indiana, Pennsylvania with my parents over the summer. Left behind friends, teammates, high school crushes, and old personalities for a new life called Freshman Year.

There was this corny event for freshmen... a "First Year Leadership" blah blah blah junk that only over-acheiving losers would even consider attending at an expensive private school full of Ivy League rejects and aspiring folks who never stood a chance to get into a top 25 school.

One year later, we would be called the New Ivy Leaguers. But who cares? We were all young. It was freshman orientation. And here I was, listening to this old pompous dean speak about how lucky we were to be a part of something as great as this university and how much we should contribute to it. But as far as I was concerned, the only thing I wanted to contribute to was a heck of a good time in college.

After the event, we all received a stupid certificate for attending. On my way out, I managed to strike a conversation with a short little asian girl. She's interesting, smart, and lives on the same floor of the same dorm as me.

I don't know what sparked our friendship. After all this time, nothing about my freshman year of college makes any sense. I defiantly wasn't as smart as she was, as aspiring or ambitious, or as good looking. I was just this interesting black guy from Michigan trying to act cool. She was this Vietnamese girl from California, who wasn't "Asian Asian" enough... I guess there's two types of Asians on campus: the American Asians who date white guys and wear normal clothes and the Asian Asians who you don't know anything about unless you're American Asian or Asian Asian.

But that was good enough for us.

She made things seem so easy, but I knew it wasn't because I knew she worked harder than all of us. But she never complained. Haha. That's not true, she complained a lot, but got over it. We used to talk about stupid stuff. She would talk about her one "boyfriend" in high school and I would talk about my one "girlfriend". She'd talk about school and home and family and problems and everything young girls always talk about.

But at the same time, she was so organized. She had a ridiculous work habit. She would organize her homework with color codes and her classes in folders. Nobody does that... well, except for over-acheving girls, I guess.

But you'd never know it behind the high heel shoes that click-clack everywhere she went, the California girl skirts and sweaters and sun glasses and hats and everything. The girl who wanted to drive a pink VW Beetle. Perhaps a real life medical student version of legally blond. Behind the makeup, the shopping sprees, the joyful attitude, the social life, the happiness that was everything about her...

You'd never know she was a geek-to-the-core (I tell you) unless you interrupted her studying hours or met her in class... or if she was your TA!

Then, you'd understand why she achieves so much in life. The girl is intelligent. She was always Ivy League status... somebody just f**ked up and didn't recognize her skills. She was never shy about her intelligence or about the need to be. In fact, she was ultimately candid about it:

You really smart, Emmy. You just gotta work a little harder, you know.

She'd say after I nearly scrapped by with a 3.0 average my first semester. We both cried about our grades. Although she scored much higher than I did, while taking much tougher classes. She gave us all nicknames. There was the famous Marky-Warky. And the list could go on. Emmy was mine.

She was the best of us. The center of our attention. She was the center of a lot of people's attention. A lot of guys wanted a piece of her. She's a pretty girl. But she was way too good for them. I mean, she was too smart, too achieving, too ambitious, and really... too damn real.

Perhaps, somewhere inside us, some reason why we were all good friends is because we were all such real people. All honest and sincere in our goofiness. In our pursuit of better grades. And our absolute stupidity at times.

We all lived on the first floor of Susan B. Anthony. The university has 3 freshman dorms. Two are practically the same building and are located closer to the main center of campus. Together, they house about 1/3 of the freshmen.

Then there was our dorm. The mother of all dorms. It housed 2/3 of all freshmen. Keep in mind, the school was small, around 4000 undergrad, so about 1000 freshmen. Either way, about 650 lived in Sue B. But what else was that the dorm also was home to a dining hall, a cafe, the residential life offices, a recreation room, and a calling center (in the basement... I actually worked there my first semester... it was painful).

All these other services were on the first floor, which left little space for dorm rooms on that floor, but there were some. There was this small all-mens hall where I lived. Only 12 guys lived there. And there was an extra long coed hall with girls on one end and guys on another, with a lounge separating the two sections.

The lounge had a TV and a kitchen, so we took ownership of it. During the day, we'd cook, study, play ping pong, watch TV, and jump on the couches. During the night, we'd avoid the place, as it was home to the infamous "sketchy couches".

These couches were typical cheap-looking, supposedly fire-proof college dorm couches. However, since the lounge was big and somewhat separated from all of campus, horny couples would drag two couches into each other and form a bed to spend the night. Only to be woken up by the cleaning lady in the morning.

You always knew who was using the sketchy couches because you knew who was dating on that floor. You could also catch them running back to their real dorm room in the morning with a pillow and a blanket or comforter.

Some nights, however, we would camp out in the lounge, forcing couples to find another lounge (typically they would hunt for one of the "lockable" study lounges on the higher floors) or practice their religion through abstinence.

On one of these nights, we had this crazy idea. We were going to watch all of the Lord of the Rings Special Edition... Yes! Each movie is like 4 1/2 hours!!! Another night, we watched the first 2 Matrix movies. These movie nights actually happened regardless of schoolwork and sometimes during finals period.

That was what made us friends. What brought us together.

I will never for it. For that one semester, in the midst of all the crazy things we called school, we were close... and in my whole life, I don't think have or will ever meet another person like her. I doubt anyone will. I don't think there is another.

And after graduating, there was only one thing that could bring us back to those days. One person. One couple. One event.

And that one event all started in the second semester of my freshman year...

See apart from being a beautiful, fashionable, sociable, shopping freak and an intelligent, geeky, genius and a hard-working, ambitious, brainiac... she was also a complete goof.

Out of all the guys that tried their best, there was one guy that didn't need to try. In fact, he probably wasn't all that great at trying at that time. But he didn't need to. For that one semester, I may have had a lot of her time, but there was one guy who always had her heart. One guy she would always talk about. She would always say how she could see herself with a guy like him. She would always ask if it was weird. She liked him because he was smart, because he was skinny, because he was goofy, because he was a nerd, like the guy from Flubber.

We all knew it. We all knew she liked him and he liked her. All that was needed was for them to finally admit it.

What's funny is that she jokes about he hooking them up or bringing them together. But, in reality, all I did was nod my head to her talking. These two were meant to be together. And from all the things they did together. All the time they spent. All the memories they built. From it all, there was one event that I was always waiting for.

The wedding.

I was going to sit next to one of my friends who's in law school right now. Someone I hadn't seen in years. At the same table, there would be folks from our first floor.

I was so excited that I planned my trip to Ghana around their wedding. I made it so that I could take the train to Newark on Saturday, check into my hotel, and get to the wedding on Sunday. Then, leave for Ghana on Monday. I had it all planned, but she had to go and make things even better.

Instead of renting a hotel room, she said I should crash at the hotel in Long Island with everyone and that we'd all get to have fun just like the good old days... Except with no sketchy couches...

There was no way I would pass that up!

We chatted about stuff, about her wedding plans, about her man, about her work. And everything seemed nice.

But there was one thing that I had forgot about... my tons of luggage. I had planned to take a load of donations from my church to a church in Ghana. I didn't think I could make the trip back and forth. So, I said that I would go to my hotel first, drop my stuff off and then make it to the party.

But she never got my Facebook message...

Later that day, I pinged my friend in CA about the wedding and found out the news. I didn't believe him. Thought it was just a stupid joke. Sounds crazy. Then, it began to settle in after I searched online.

The next few days were horrible. We all KNEW her... we KNEW she wouldn't run away... the news media were soooo stupid!

I can't bear to imagine how it must have felt for her man. I mean, the story broke my heart. I mean, it really hurt me. I mean, here I was in New York City crying on the subway, on the train, in the taxi, on the plane to Amsterdam... to Accra...

But to go through what he went through. The incredible high and then such a great low... such a devastating loss. And for her family too. For them having to wait and pause right before the greatest moment of their lives. Or for him, driving back and forth constantly.

When I met up with my friends, we had nothing to do but just exist. It was just surreal. It felt like we lost our souls or something. Like all the joy was stripped out of us. Honestly, she was the show we all came to celebrate. Without her, it made things just dull and sad.

To make matters worse, I had a flight the next day. I had no time. I couldn't stay and mourn. I also had visa problems with Ghana that I had to settle. And when I got to Ghana, I couldn't mourn with my friends. Nobody understood. I couldn't go to her memorial. Nothing.

I will never forget her. I can't imagine what it was like... being a few days away from wedding your best friend, a few years away from completing something you've worked your whole life for... days away from meeting up with your old friends... finally moving up and getting all that you deserved in life...

Only to have some dirty son of a bitch bastard rip it all away from you.

In all my life, I never really wanted someone to die. I think that has changed. You know, there's always these random incidents, like shootings and stuff. Then there are situations that people may have purposely or accidentally put themselves in. Those are all tragedies.

But the worse of them all is a rouge unsuspected person brought into your path by an institution. Someone who is not even worth the air you breathe who has nothing worthwhile in his life. Someone who isn't worth the people in his life, let alone worth being around someone like her, of whom he was only crossing paths with.

Someone so vile.

I think he should die.

I think he should rot.

Sure, he should be forgiven, but he should still die.

Unfortunately, he will not... for good reasons, I know.

And we will all move on with our lives.

But for all the good things she would have done in her life. All the good she has done. All the life she has lived...

I just pray that that guy gets his full serving of what he deserves.

I just with it would have been different and been better for her. You deserved so much more from life. And it makes me think of how much I do. If she could do so much, work so hard, then I can do so as well. After all, I probably am really smart, I just gotta work harder.

I love you Annie, you take care of yourself. I know you're in good hands.

- Emmy

Yes, so close that it was actually mentioned by my project manager at my weekly team meeting. It was sort of a surprise to me... like, oh, wow, yeah, 3 weeks! Geez, time sneaks up on ya.

So what have I been doing in the last few weeks to prepare for my trip to Ghana? Well, for starters, I have been talking a lot to people in my family and in my friendship networks, explaining why I am going to Ghana. It's a mess to explain. Honestly. I think I avoided this whole mess when going to study abroad because I was in Chicago the whole summer, then I came back for a few days and zoooomed off to London for a week and then to Accra for four months.

Goodness, I cannot wait to get back. Seriously. Now, I love my job. I really do. I love the concept we're working with, the goals, the mission. I think our software is the best in the friggen world and that other cataloging systems for digital libraries are all shat. I wipe my butt with them. Even OCLC. But, when it comes to Africa... maayynnnn.... am out!

I've done so much explaining to people over the last few months. Why not find another place to live in the States? Why Africa? Why Ghana? Why now? Oh geez!

Not just from people here... Many of my friends in Ghana wonder why I'm going there also. Why leave America? Well, I got some good reasons. First, am sick of it... Haha! I've never really been down with the American lifestyle, the monotony,  same old lifestyle. The fact that every American seems to do the same thing. If I stay here any longer, my options are limited. Worse, they are fixed. I would have to settle down, get in a relationship, get into debt, and eventually be stuck here forever. Never to leave. Never to see the world. Or, I could get caught up with the "liberal" American lifestyle. I could float around the country doing random stupid things without a vision in life. Then, eventually settle down. Never to leave. Never to see the world. OR, I could see the world from a giant boat every few years. Watch a bunch of Indie flicks. Shave my head, die it green. Move to California. Never to leave. Never to see the world.

Good grief!

I'm out. Honestly, I have been planning to move from America since I was in like 8th grade and everyone started to bore me. Well, not people, more so the expected life I had lined up for me. I used to complain with a few friends about this: you go to school, go to more school, go to more school, and get a job, get married, and make money for no reason other than to spend it your whole life. In fact, you make less money than you spend. And then, you eventually die, having not accomplished much.

Yes, this is not the life of every American. Perhaps not even the life of a sizable amount of us. In fact, this is probably the life of many non-Americans. So, well, perhaps I don't have much to say. However, what I do know is that for the short four months I was in Africa, I was far more productive than the whole four years I had spent in college. I cared more about what I did. I worked harder. I could make friends easily. The American college was really nothing for me. I don't drink. I don't really care for all the extra college traditions. So, me and a few friends just sort of hung out staring on as other students made fools of themselves for the sake of college.

In Ghana, it was different. Many students I met actually cared about their education and didn't just go to school for 13th grade to be babysat by professors and administrators. But, that didn't make them boring, either. There was culture. Real culture. Sure, am not Ghanaian and I don't intend to be, but the university had life. Perhaps because I went to a small research university, I missed out. I am sure those dimensions came into play.

However, outside the campus, I got to see real life and opportunity. It was similar to poverty in America, but on a much more raw level. On a level that is much harder to ignore. Not just poverty, but all real life experiences just seemed more real. In the US, life seems to be a collection of television episodes.

So, it wasn't just Ghana. Or Africa. It was just not America. Perhaps it's all the places I've lived. But, I just can't really call any of them my home. So I might as well wander. And where else better to go than Africa. Than a place that I have lived before. Then a place with some opportunities available.

So, three weeks from now, three weeks will pretty much determine the next three years of my life. Whether I move to Ghana or not hinges on a few particulars: whether I feel safe and in the right place in Ghana, whether I can get a decent paying job, whether I can coop with the cultural differences, whether I can mesh with a solid group of friends who I enjoy hanging out with, and whether I can find opportunities to do more in life. I don't think I will stay in Ghana forever. I defiantly will visit Liberia if I choose to move to West Africa. But, right now. I need a break.

Oh yeah, and I love America. I love the country, the people, the places, the adventure, and most of all the opportunities. Nothing will keep me from coming back to the US. But, for now, and for a really long time. Nothing will keep me from leaving the US.

Oh man... 3 more weeks. Haha. We'll see how it all turns out!

Man, I haven't written in, like, um, fooooreevaaa! Oh boy, what's been keeping me busy? Let's see... work, work, and more work... it's been quite hectic at the XC project. Um... also, got friends getting married... moved from State College back to Altoona... planning for this Ghana trip... whoop whoop...

Oh yeah! I got a Macbook Pro 13 inch. Finally breaking free of the Windows curse. I mean, who wouldn't love a Mac? It's beautiful. It's easy to use. It's built with real thought as far as the materials to put into it. It's hardware is built for its software (who wudda thunked of that?). And, well, it's UNIX based. I get to flip flop between beauty and bash all day long.

So, I haven't even used Garage Band, iPhoto, iMovie, iCalendar, iChat, iLife, ... and all the Mac-lover crap yet. I used iTunes only because I use iTunes normally since Winamp got so ugly-looking and confusing. I tried SongBird for a few days a while back and it's really just a Mozilla version of iTunes. I mean, Winamp is better than SongBird... geez.

So far so good, except that Macs are EXPENSIVE. Sure, I am smart, so I only paid about $1300 bucks for it. Wheras, one of my friends is putting up $3000 for one! Ouch! I don't think I have the ambition to buy a computer for more than $1500 anymore. I mean, when the price of a computer starts to compare with a trip around Europe for a month, something tells me to stop.

Anyways, this is a great investment for me. I can finally do real software development on my machine without bothering to worry about stupid Windows. There are some great apps out there, not to forget, I can still use Netbeans and Eclipse. Plus now, I don't have to worry about Python or Perl being slow or buggy. And more... MacPorts!!! Haha! I am a Debian user and I looooove package files over the internet: sudo port install fill-in-da-blank!

I have a few disappointments, though. The first is the price of Mac software and hardware. I already mentioned the high price of just obtaining a Mac. But, man, these fools really sucker themselves into paying more for nothing! I guess I am one of them, now. I had to buy a Mini-DisplayPort (whatever the hell that is -- OK, I know, it's better but more expensive than mini-DVI) adapter for DVI so I can plug this dang thing into my monitor. But, guess what? I have to buy another one to plug it into VGA. Each cost $30 bucks! BTW, am not buying one for VGA. But that was as far as I am willing to go (as of now...).

However, Apple has the nerves to sell its "wireless" keyboard... not even a full keyboard... just the Macbook keyboard with bluetooth... for $80 bucks. A "mighty mouse" that nobody likes, for $80 bucks! Headphones for $50 bucks... the list goes on. Apple products are stylish and expensive. But some are flat out useless.

When it comes to software, it gets worse! Apple software is reasonable, like iLife comes built in... iWork isn't too expensive... BUT non-Apple software is such a rip off. Here's why. Apple is UNIX-based. For crying out loud, it runs a bash shell. So, well, that means for the most part, it's applications all have command-line components. For example, Apple's firewall application is just a GUI for a more powerful firewall application that is a command-line application. Many parts of the Mac (well, practically ALL parts) can be configured from the command line. This is AWESOME. I mean, some people (rare) know Windows in-and-out. These geniuses can pull up PowerShell and hack away like mad, configuring awesome parts of that stupid operating system. The other 6.999999997 billion of us (everyone on earth, except for 3 people) have to spend our lives torturing our minds with point and click configurations.

So, with this awesome advantage over Windows, you'd expect a Mac to be much like a Linux machine, right? You'd expect there to be millions of programmers around the world (with Macs) programming for Mac, turning command-line scripts into beautiful Cocoa GUI apps... uh... NO! Instead, there's a few pompous individuals out there selling their software for mega bucks!

What makes it worse is that the Mac display manager is not based on X... no, my friends, it's based on something more beautiful. But, one with much less developers. So, awesome apps that I love in Linux, such as Geany, cannot run natively on a Mac...

Instead, I have to use Apple's (awesome, but uglier) Quartz implementation of X11, which allows me to have access to a multitude of Linux GUI apps. However, it's NOT pretty like Mac apps. If I want pretty, I have to shell out $80 bucks for BBEdit. And another $30 here and there for a few more apps. After a while, the true cost of a Mac rises and I start to feel like I am buying something from Microsoft.

Another thing I dislike is the 2 USB ports... WTF? My Dell Latitude D-series has, um.... THREE! The extra third is such a lifesaver, though. But it also has 2 firewire ports (that I never use).

And yet another thing that may bother me: the glossy screen. Right now, I don't care. In the future, I probably will not care. But, it is EXTRA glossy... like if a 2 year old kid child of some engineer at Apple told his daddy that he wanted more gloss, so his daddy did so. There's absolutely no reason for it. I've heard many arguments... but realistically, I like the glossy screen for its brightness. But this screen goes far beyond its use. There HAS to be a way to have brightness with just a little less gloss.

But all of that, even that to an infinity power, does not compare to the sheer benefits of owning one of these machines. Like I said, they are UNIX-BASED! Unlike crappy Windows, Mac OS X does not eat up all your system resources for no reason and burn it until your computer becomes slower and slower and finally dies. As any Mac owner can notice, after 1 year of usage, the computer is still peaceful. PCs on the other hand, progressively get hotter and slower... until you reinstall Windows completely. That's because Windows has poor memory management. It can't work well with its page file system, also, so it constantly spins the hard drive. In result: hot hot hot laptops.

Because Macs run better, the hard drive lasts longer. The keyboard doesn't heat up the screen when the laptop is closed (like in Windows). The fan doesn't constantly run. EVEN with the aluminum (metal) casing, it's not as hot as my Latitude (plastic) casing... for anyone who failed 8th grade, metal gets hotter faster than plastic, so if a plastic feels hotter than a metal, than the heat inside it (the computer) is MUCH MUCH hotter than that of the metal container.

Finally, if I ever needed to, I can run Windows on it. In fact, I have installed my student version of Windows on it... but not using Bootcamp (for Mac guppies)... using VirtualBox, from Sun.

I gawked over VMWare, Parallels, and VirtualBox for weeks, man. I concluded that Parellels was for Mac guppies... other than that, nobody else uses it. It has some REALLY AWESOME features... but it's all for Mac guppies who want to really use Windows. Like, drag and drop for files. Ooo-la-la! But, when it comes to other operating systems, like Ubuntu or Debian or Slackware or Solaris, Parellels is crap. Since I was more excited about running Debian and Mac side-by-side than Windows and Mac, I threw Parellels out the picture. Next was VMWare... I met a guy who worked for them a while back. They're smart people. They make good software. My work servers run VMWare. Everybody who is anybody runs VMWare... on real virtual servers. But on a Mac? VMWare Fusion is like a watered down version of what VMWare stands for. Come on... it competes with Parellels... haha! And it's feature set isn't even as rich. Plus, I hear it's a bit buggy sometimes. And well, both VMWare Fusion and Parellels Desktop cost money. VirtualBox was and is free. It's made by people who make good software (Sun = Java, Oracle = Oracle and a bazillion other cool stuff). So, well, I chose VirtualBox.

I got Windows, Debian, and Mac running and I can have them open on different spaces / screens. I can use the clipboard between them, which is good enough for me. The new version of VirtualBox also has seamless windows (like Parellels, but not as pretty). But, well, unlike Parellels, it does it for Linux TOO!

And the Mac keyboard... it just works better. It feels better. It's faster to type on it. It doesn't feel like I am pounding two keys together. It is backlit. It is, however, small. I miss Home, End, PageUp, and PageDown. But, whatever, it has an EXTRA KEY... "Control" ... haha. Some people hate this, I love it. Windows has that dumb little Windows key that nobody uses. With a Mac, everyone uses the "Command" key and so the Control key is used as well... leaving us with TWO control-like keys, plus ALT/Option. And FN actually does something worthy of its name on Macbooks.

The trackpad, or, well, whatever it is... it's practically an touch screen pretending to be a trackpad. It pushes down too, so no dumb-having-to-reach-over-with-thumb-and-press-left-or-right-click. It's also HUGGEE... so, no moving around and around to push the cursor across the screen. And... it's multi-touch. So, it's practically an iPhone on your keyboard... of course, with no screen. Haha! Nice!

Finally, the Mac beats out in performance. I can actually run Windows just as fast in VirtualBox as I can on my Latitude. Perhaps more so because the Mac is newer. But, I also expect it to last longer. Also, what gave me a nice round of joy was when I pulled the plug out and saw the amount of time I had left on my battery... 7 hours and 3 minutes! Hooray!

If you are a Solaris. Linux. UNIX. Or something cool. Good.

If you're still a PC. Sucks to be you.

Good luck with Windows Vista SP2.... eh, um... 7

I'm a Mac.

UPDATE: And I just ordered Snow Leopard...

I just thought I'd fill y'all in. Well, since the team posts are only viewable by Kiva members, I will only quote my additions. Prior to mine, there had been a few posts about Kiva now lending to entrepreneurs in the US (probably posted by a troll), about loaning to entrepreneurs who sell alcohol and soft drinks, and finally, about the discrepancy between the 0% interest rate paid on loans through Kiva to their field partners by lenders, like me, and the actual interest rate paid on the loan by the real borrowers. To a mere mortal, this discrepancy appears very high as some borrowers pay interest rates as high as 28%.

It was then, and only then, that I chose to come down from my throne in economics heaven and enlighten my fellow lenders about the international economy:

"I wonder if the entrepreneurs, even the poorest of them, ever log on to Kiva at an internet cafe and get a chance to read these messages.

I can't imagine how its like, having worked so hard to provide for family and kin and suffered the stresses necessary to qualify for a "small" loan, only to learn that those financing their lender made decisions based on seemingly irrelevant factors, such as whether Kiva should loan to Americans or if one of Kiva's partner organizations is charging higher interest.

Honestly, I think the biggest of all problems involve international development within the current economic world order, the myths of democracy, the lack of education of Africans, the lack of education of non-Africans about Africans, and, well, the mother of all: colonialism, post-colonialism, and its effects, such as social, political, and economic dependence upon quasi-government organizations and modern world-systems.

In my opinion, Kiva is a very dirty and quick fix aimed at supplying just one demand of a battered market; that is, economic capital for entrepreneurs in developing nations and states. So, unless someone has a better idea of how we should to approach this problem or is at least is willing to dive into the real mess that Kiva is cleaning up, or unless we discover that Kiva is a massive hoax or confidence game, preying on our innocent naivety and idealist delusions and efforts to save the world, I suggest that we all keep lending.

No offense, but if I had enough money to make over 100 loans in 2 weeks, all worth at least $25, I would consider more serious and direct investment in Africa. I would love to see Kiva become a gateway to real investment in developing nations, not just a casual pastime."

OK. I was a bit harsh, but still respectful, right? Still, who cares. I was around a ga-zillion times less aggressive than I am on this blog.

A couple days later, my post prompted a friendly response from one of the other Kiva lenders participating in the conversation. They essentially said that they appreciated the comment by me and was only concerned with the high interest. And also that they wanted to learn more about Africa.

So, I realized that I had actually not explained anything about the high interest. So, I sat down and wrote a comprehensive explanation. Now, I could be wrong here, I only took a few courses in international economics both at Rochester and in Ghana. But to the best of my knowledge, I believed that the "high interest" rates that was being discussed were not actually high. So, I responded:

"I actually enjoy this conversation and there's no reason to apologize for your views or opinions. None of this would have existed without them.

Kiva does list the average interest rate the borrower pays for each partner organization. Just click on the link for the partner organization to see more information about it. Kiva also does a good job, I believe, in selecting credible lenders with relatively and, to be honest, ridiculously low interest rates compared to other lenders in those countries.

Currently, the average rate for all Kiva field partners is 23.28%, I assume with respect to the actual loan. Whereas a typical interest rate on a US credit card after a promotional period is 29.99% APR with an effective rate of 34.96% APY if compounded daily. After one year, if the amount borrowed is $1000, the Kiva entrepreneur pays $232.80 interest and the US citizen pays $349.60 in interest... $116.80 more! The US citizen's interest, however, increases or decreases with the length of the term because it is a credit card. Loans in the US, if you can get one now a days, have much lower interest rates for a good reason. If the Kiva entrepreneur's country had a more stable economic system, less inflation, and more exports, the supply of credit offerings would increase and the price of a loan (e.g. interest) would decrease. All of this depends on the state of the world economic order which, like I said, is the mother of all problems facing entrepreneurs within these countries.

None of this is to suggest that I think your concerns with the interest rates are illegitimate. All I am saying is that I wouldn't let this fact influence my decision to loan on Kiva. Especially given the financial, economic, political, social, and cultural differences between the countries, or, in respect to US entrepreneurs, the communities where those entrepreneurs reside, and mine.

To play devil's advocate, I would like to point out another reason why these lenders may be right to charge higher interest rates than in the US. In order to survive and keep lending, Kiva's partner organizations must adhere to solid financial and economic fundamentals. Naturally, "poorer" countries with weaker currencies will either: 1) have set higher interest rates with monetary policy similar to the way the "Fed" sets the interest rate in the US or 2) have spiraled out of control and into massive debt and corruption indicated by inflation or hyper-inflation and exacerbated by printing large amounts of money. Obviously, a good lender resides in a country that falls into category #1. In order to escape comparatively high interest rates the lender could attempt to operate solely in US dollars. However, even in this unlikely event, the entrepreneurs they loan to cannot operate as such. They would still have to make up for the real value of their depreciating currency, in respect to the US dollar and deal with its influence on the exchange and interest rates in that country over the lifetime of the loan. Therefore, the entrepreneur cannot escape the high price of a loan and will always have to pay back much more money than they borrowed. Furthermore, any good lender will want to make profit to keep their business running. Well, unless they wanted to be taken over by a potentially corrupt government or overrun by Western enthusiasts working for some NGO with offices thousands of miles away.

Finally, I agree with you that money can't change the world on its own. I believe that all types of capital are necessary to promote such development: human capital (people with skills), intellectual capital (information and knowledge), social capital (valuable networks between individuals and groups), and many others are all necessary.

By direct investment, I mean providing more than loans. That is, taking actual ownership, with all the costs, benefits, and heightened risks associated with it such investments, in foreign enterprises. Kiva is set up to be a very safe environment and it works well because most people rightfully do not have the stomach for real investment in these countries. There are good reasons why we aren't all throwing our money at every idea that comes out of TED. Nevertheless, Kiva is still not real investment. If you have the resources, time, and patience to put up with the many frustrations that will occur on every turn, you can invest in Africa or any other part of the world, much like you can invest in Microsoft or the S&P.

Now, do I have any specific suggestions on what to invest in Africa? No. But, hey, I just got out of school. Next year, I'm finally moving back to West Africa for a few years. So give me 18 months and I'll either have a long list of recommended FDI organizations in West Africa or have my own.

Meanwhile, if you want to educate yourself on Africa, I suggest starting with current events by reading BBC News on Africa. The whole "people in Africa are poor, people in Africa need help" stuff is so cliche and, as you mentioned, doesn't make you feel like you know anything about Africa. My best advice is to remember that the road to enlightenment is not a highway. You don't have to obsess over the wars, devastation, destruction, or amount of poor people in Africa. There are enough people in the world who truly care about these problems much more than you do and that are probably better equip and more effective at solving them. Find your niche, something that really interests you and, well, also happens to exist in Africa. Find something that relates to your real life and your occupation. From there, you'll develop an African experience that you can actually connect with. You'll then be able to communicate your African experience with others as well as share yourself and your capital with Africans more efficiently. As for me, I follow African politics, economics, business, law, and technology. Africa's a big continent, so I'm sure you can find something of real interest to you there, no pun intended."

You see, I think that if you Googled the interest rate set by the national bank in any of those "poorer" countries, you would find out that it either matched or was very very close to matching the interest rate the borrowers paid back to Kiva's field partner in that country.

However, this all goes topsy turvy when loaning to entrepreneurs in America, since the interest rate in America is next to nothing. In America, the real reason why an entrepreneur cannot get funding is because their credit sucks or they're asking for either too much or too little amounts money AND their credit sucks. Haha!

Unlike in other countries, Americans have high access to credit. They just suck at obtaining and maintaining it. Let me clarify my reasoning. First, any college student can get a credit card with 0% interest for the first 12 months and a $500 limit. Therefore, any college student already has access to enough money to fund their business project.

And I'm not just referring to Ivy Leaguers or rich people. My first year on campus, credit card companies were throwing everything at me to sign a piece of paper or get my friends to sign that piece of paper applying for a credit card. I got a new card in the mail each week. In fact, when I didn't use my credit card for a month, I would get $25 checks in the mail... REAL MONEY! They would say something like: This is our gift to you. Now go buy something. And if this $25 is not enough... guess what? Use your credit card! Use it! UUUUUSSSEEEEE ITTTTTT!!!!!

Of course, not everyone is a "G" like me, so, well, they probably did spends loads on credit. Well, actually, I did too! My freshman year, I used my card so much online that I knew my number, all 13 digits, by heart! I knew my security code by heart! I even had a secret code and a song to assist me in remembering it... just in case I was at the ITS center late at night and needed some Chinese food. The difference between me and other students: I didn't go on expensive trips AND I had a JOB! Even with that, I had a car my third year, which, of course, I broke down halfway through my fourth year. But, throughout the one and a half years, I racked up a huge balance, $8,000, on multiple credit cards prior to my first trip to Ghana. Needless to say, I changed from my evil ways.

I now have no balance at all. In fact, I have spotless credit, y'all. Even though I racked up thousands, I never ever missed a payment... on purpose. The company mailed it to the wrong address twice I think, and so, I got them to waive the fee. Well, only one company. Chase Credit, you bastards, screwed me over by sending the bill to the wrong address WHILE I was in Ghana and the stupid black lady on the phone didn't want to waive the fee. So, I told her that I would pay everything off and close my account in less than 24 hours... never to use the service again... needless to say, I did. Darn credit cards.

Anyways, back to the topic. Like I said, Americans can get credit. They just don't know how to act when they get it. They treat it like free money. They mortgage their houses to buy fancy cars and lose jobs to buy boob jobs and other jobs with the letter "B". So, if I were to agree with any of the Kiva debate so far on the Africa page, I would agree that Americans probably don't need loans.

Nevertheless, certain demographics do. By this, I mean poor, typically immigrant or minority, working women entrepreneurs in urban areas. These women tend to be hard-working and tend to use their profits for good use, like paying for their kids to go to school. Unlike the men, who spend their revenue on prostitutes and go bankrupt, women entrepreneurs actually succeed in urban areas. However, this is less of a testament to the success of America than it is to the dexterity inherited from homogeneous chromosomes.

Overall, I suggest you join Kiva, the Africa team, and the conversation.

I'm off topic again, so I might as well just end.

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That's right! I bought my ticket. And for a whole lotta money, you too can travel to Africa. Actually, I benefitted. My last trip to Ghana to study abroad, I paid around $1,500 flying British Airways. Other students paid more... because they weren't a G like me.

Anyways, one year later, when my mom went, she paid close to $3,000 while we were experiencing the lame duck George W. Bush high mamma jamma oil prices in the midst of the highest economic boom we had seen in decades... only to be followed by Barack H. Obama's re-de-cession.

So now, the prices are low again, perfectly right for me to make my re-entrance through the "gateway to Africa". And I'm back again. Or will be soon enough.

I still have some details to work out, like, where I will be staying, what I will be doing, and what I want to bring with me. I also have to figure out how I am going to time all of this. It just so happens that I have two weddings to visit in September for college friends. The second of which is two days prior to my flight and is at Long Island. Well, actually, I wanted to arrange my flight around that time anyways to save myself transportation costs, especially since I don't own a car.

Another aspect of my trip is that I am flying KLM through Amsterdam, given that Delta offers much faster flights directly from New York City to Accra. Here's my beef with Delta. My mom travelled to Ghana and Liberia last year and they gave her hell.

Delta, being an American company, already has my attention since I don't think Americans really care much about Africa, let alone transporting Africans back and forth to Ghana. I also think that American carriers are horrible when it comes to international flights, with the exception of flying back and forth to Europe, some parts of Asia, and Australia. And my mom's experience made it worse. Sure, she, like me, has a way of exaggerating circumstances. But overall, she gave it horrible remarks:

• She said the plane had troubles both to and from Ghana
• The food service was subpar compared to my service with British Airways
• Delta could not control the situation well at the Accra airport, which is a mess to begin with
• Delta was VERY late leaving, which may possibly be worse for me since I am flying during a fuel shortage

I credit much of this to the fact that this is an American company flying direct to Africa, and well, I'll say it again, Americans don't really care about Africans.

After all, they're just jungle people. They live in huts. Eat grasshoppers and leaves. Piss in holes in the ground. Take a dump in public sewers next to roads. They are all poor. They don't have internet. They wouldn't even know how to use a computer if you tried to teach them. But, daaaammnnn those African girls are fiiinneee. They got cute booties. They are cheap sex. Too bad African guys speak all that bougie bougie click-click "The Gods Must Be Crazy" crap.

And, so I chose to fly with a former colonialist. I figure they would know a thing or two about the continent and, well, probably have more people in the diaspora needing direct flights. Although I am not sure of this.

Anyways, the added benefit is that I choose to give myself the LONGEST layover in Amsterdam as possible in order to explore the city for a few short hours. This should be fun!

Finally, I don't know whether any or all of this will change, given that Vayama.com sometimes pulls a fast one on you. But, hopefully, it will all go well.