My African Voice

Second Week in Ghana 2009

Day 1:

• Honestly, it would be nice to work with Europeans and such because at least I'll be around English. I think I can learn Twi, but perhaps from better and clearer and much much slower speakers.
• Most of all, though, I need to get a break. A peace of mind. And some pineapple juice...  So far, I am experiencing Ghana from the minds and eyes of Hayford, one of my best friends. But, I think I need to make more drastic decisions and another more aggressive push towards accomplishing my goals here.
• Back to another day burning up in this heat.
• To add insult to injury, Hayford he walks up a storm in blasting hot sun and heat with little regard to the heavy ass backpack that I am carrying. Typical American I am... carrying a heavy ass backpack. So while I am burning, he is just fine.
• I don't know what I'll do today or where I'll go.

Day 2 [Part 1]:

• Today's the big day! The interview and then off to get my travels on and stuff.
• Last night I pulled an all-nighter and found out what people do all night long at Sexy Late Night at the Ghanaian Internet Cafe: porn, chatting posing as beautiful women to lure stupid white men into trap, and more porn.
• More interesting was the fact that this deception was run like a business. Almost like if a pimp was in charge getting these kids to do this... or more like a drug pusher.
• Essentially, there were like five boys in the cafe who would find sexy pictures of a girl online and pretend to be that girl while chatting to some guy. They would send pictures back and forth. The concept is somewhat engenius, although not original at all. But, hey, if you REALLY believe that a sexy busty white girl in her twenties is hanging out in Ghana and wants you to come visit her. Then, well, you deserve to lose your money. But (hopefully) not your life.
• After my somewhat all-nighter was somewhat successful. I managed to pump a lot of stuff back into my brain. But I still got a ways to go.
• I probably won't even be quized in Perl and Python. But, I need to make sure I have it in my head anyways. After all this Drupal programming, all I can do is: array() array_merge() drupal_set_message() blah() blah() blah()
• Anyways, I am so hungry. I need some protien. Am tired of rice, carbs, carbs, and more carbs. Geez!

Day 2 [Part 2]:

• One hour before my scheduled interview and I am trying to meet the big boss man in charge. Well, meet face to face. This should be interesting.
• Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Haha. It feels like hours.
• This chic that walked by is so HOT. I wonder if she's taken. You know I like my beautiful professional black girls. I mean, I bet she's also smart and interesting.
• Oh well. Time goes by. And goes by. Tickity tock. Tickity tock.
• Haha. Just when I decide to listen to some music, he walks out. No stress. It is or it isn't. You know you're qualified. It's just a matter of doing the interview.
• Yeah. There are all sorts of people at this Esoko office. White people, pretty girls, serious looking guys, who knows... It's a hodgepodge (I actually spelled that word!!!) so I guess it makes it all more interesting.

Day 3:

• I got the job. So, thank God. Haha. Apparently, it doesn't pay much... But I don't care.
• I feel like I am supposed to be here, so I'll leave the rest up to God.
• So a few days ago Hayford and I go running. I get something stuck in my eye and he literally tries to blow it out.
• Haha. That's what friends are for.
• Washed my clothes today. By hand. Hotness.
• Ate some Obama Biscuits. Disgusting.  Eh.
• Getting ready to hit the road!

Day 4:

• OK. It's 3:30am. Trying to catch a tro tro or taxi to STC to catch a bus to Takrodi.
• Not only is it raining. But it is dark and this sketchy guy is pretending to be fixng his car.
• And then sparks flying from a poorly maintained electrical wire.

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First Week in Ghana 2009

Day 1:

• You never ask a Ghanaian for directions... Haha! You will get lost.
• Nothing is given in rights and lefts and, if you do get rights and lefts, you will likely get lost as a Ghanaian left or right must be significant for it to be mentioned.
• Consider the following equally permissible directions:
  • From an American: When you leave the compound, turn left and immediately left again moving on the far side of the compound. Follow the road straight until you reach the end. At that point turn left and make an immediate right for two more roads. Then, finally, make a left and you will arrive.
  • From a Ghanaian: Leave the house. Go straight and straight. Turn left by the pineapple selling woman and alight at the place.

Day 2:

• Taking a bucket shower in a stinking cement construct, sleeping with mosquitos, and pissing into a hole in the ground that leaks into the pathway I walk on each day.
• And a minute ago, a giant beetle roach big whatever crawls over my foot... No problem, I am getting used to everything.
• This is the life...

Day 3:

• With the lights (power) are off here, I have provided myself as a living sacrifice for these mosquitos to feast upon.
• Our solution, temporarily submit ourselves to them by crossing over to their territory while we wait for the mosquito spray to work... then impatiently enter the gas chamber to suffocate. For we would rather breath in the cancerous fumes than sustain more heavy artillery fire from the mosquito clan.
• Unfortunately for me, I am a fat American, perfect for the mosquito-likings. Unlike my skinny skinny friend who has not been bothered at all. I am sure the mosquitoes realize this and can taste the hamburger I ate three days ago in my blood.
• The good news is that this should put my 4 year old anti-malaria pills to the test. I got them from a girl the last time I was here. By now, the medicine should have a pretty high tolerance to the malaria parasite.
• After all, we spray to deter the mosquito by giving ourselves cancer; thereby, revealing their fate as well as ours.

Day 4:

• Apparently the mosquito deterrence spray has managed to also scare away the noisy Christians and Muslims broadcasting their services by loud speaker at 12'am
• But there is still no electricity. This is annoying.

Day 5:

• Another morning... A lazy Saturday. Nighttime doesn't relax me really.
• I wonder whether these women here have massive breasts from genetics or better food. Or pershaps they stiff the hell out of their shirts to sell whatever they are selling.
• Whatever the case many girls here do have more fuller breasts. Not that I am looking...
• Tomorrow it all begins again...

Day 6:

• And it all begins again..
• This has to be the last time I wear a long sleeve shirt somewhere without guaranteed air conditining.
• It's freaking hot. No fan. No air conditioning. Nothing. This sometimes just plain pitiful.
• Haha. I complain a lot. And it's Sunday.
• Today is about church, moving all stuff to Legon, and visiting friends.

Day 7:

• So... Accra Mall is bigger, better, and a completely separated from the vast majority of Ghana.
• Here, I can watch a movie on the big screen, surf wireless, and order hella expensive food. All the while, paying every bit of my money's worth. Or, my Ghana Cedis worth... in USD, this is CHEAP...
• Oh and there is a Nike store, Puma store, and Apple store... Haha! Ghana has come faaaaaar!!!
• I am here waiting for a "beef burger" ...as if there were a such thing as a "non-beef burger"
• Let's see what it tastes like for 6 cedis. Then again, with the current exchane rate is is pretty much the same cost as a Whopper in the US. Except it's cooked by a black chef who looks like he's served the Queen before.
• OK. Sham Wow!!! Jambirgress es delicioso. Sure. I wish they had JUICE. But Mikkey D's doesn't have real juice either.
• So it's been good. On to my next expenditure.
• Or not. Since I'm not really into buying non-food related stuff.

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On the Plane to Ghana

10AM:
I gotta remember not to sit by the window for these long flights because the pressure may be greater here or something. It already is bothering me... Or maybe we're moving really faaaaaast...

11AM:
The guy I sat next to on the flight to Amsterdam was so frigging annoying! Oh my goodness! The guy sitting next to me right now on my trip to Ghana is no better. He's watching 101 dalmations... Hahahahaha!!!

11:15AM
Am starting to wonder if I can really live in Ghana given that people will annoy me soooo much. Not everybody, but many many African men will.

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Airport Woes

I think I have been through just about all that someone could possibly go through at an airport:

• Didn't have a visa to Ghana
• Had to get a visa in the same day I was flying out
• Had to alternate between New York and Newark all day to get a visa, check the status of my visa application, and get my luggage from the hotel to the airport
• Had to deal with the slow shuttle service at the hotel
• Had to try to (finally successfully) store my luggage at the airport (which was first impossible, right)

And after all that work... I finally missed my flight!

So, normally, I would just give up... yeah right! Having gone through enough emotions over the last few days, I didn't have any inch of pride in my system. I dropped on my knees right in the airport at the counter and started to cry. Literally. Not balling-out, mother-crying-for-her-dead-son type of crying. But, honest-what-the-#$%*-is-going-on type of crying. Like, I-did-all-I-could-#$%*#(#-do type of crying.

And here begins the story of three female employees at Newark:

• The old white lady: First didn't want me to be able to check in my baggage. Didn't want to help me. Didn't want to get off her old butt and walk around and do some thing. And kept looking over all the other employees as if she wanted to STOP them from helping me. I HATE, I friggen HATE people like that. Nosey, stupid, annoying employees who want to destroy the lives of specific people so much that they go out of their way to PREVENT other employees from helping out a customer. Total bitch.
• The middle aged black woman: Tried all she could to help me out. She tried looking up other flights, tried calling the company (KLM) and the other company (Northwest) and even the travel company (Vayama) but had no success. Still, she wanted to help me and said that she would try if I had any problems the day of. She just couldn't help me. Total angel.
• The young latina: Was interrupted by a door-man, the curb-side checkin person. The random black guy who saw me crying. The guy who got me on the plane. The guy who said I probably had no options... BUT, he decided to check to see if something would work. He went, to the black lady first (of course). She went, to the latina lifesaver. Now, this latina didn't just check to see if I could get on a flight... she PUT ME ON THE FLIGHT. She kept the details away from the total bitch white lady who kept prying her old eyes over the latina's keyboard and screen... because she (obviously) could remember (from a few hours earlier) that I had been worried about possibly missing my flight since I had to get my visa from NYC. Anyways, the latina got me a detour through Detriot. Total lifesaver.

Now, by no means am I being racist here. It's just how the people happened to be. I think it has more to do with appearance.

If it was a young blonde chic crying in the airport talking about missing a flight to her happy sappy hometown to see her boyfriend soon to be husband, maybe the old hag would have moved a muscle. Or not. Or maybe she prefers talk, dark, and handsome Egyptian princes. Maybe her bisexual husband cheated on her with a 24 year old black guy going to Ghana. Why knows?

Whatever the case... she didn't feel like helping me out. And that was that. It just so happened that the black woman more or less saw me as a son and the latina saw me as a guy who needed help. Case closed.

So, yeah. I was able to get a detour through Detriot from a random black guy at curb-side check-in who got a latina lady at the desk to help me. Now, I could get to Ghana. But I would miss my planned funtime in Amsterdam. Oh well...

One last thing. I did happen to get searched at the airport. Not normal, but like enhanced terrorist searched. It shows our government at work, I guess. I thought it was because I was going to Ghana. But, I don't know. For whatever reason, my ticket was flagged. The lady told me it was because I had changed my ticket last minute. But, who knows?

Anyways, it's off to Ghana I go...

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